His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
