I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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