Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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