these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
