My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
