I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
