fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
