seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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