i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize