I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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