meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
