the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
