he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
