How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
