"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
And then he peed in my hair
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
