I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
