The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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