I must be too annoying 4 u.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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