i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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