On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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