hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
