Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
