i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
