.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she told me i tasted like america
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
