i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
