dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
