do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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