Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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