I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
