it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I wish there were birth control emojis
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
