just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
