I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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