i think i have two assholes
I wish you could order shots online.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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