Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
