I'm so fucking centered right now
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
