just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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