I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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