You're my little dorito
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
