You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
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