i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize