His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Your cock deserves a montage
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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