All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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