Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
