I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
