Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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