im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Are my feet made of real feet?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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