I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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