More tranny stories later!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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