Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he thought i was a dude.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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