I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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