I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
