Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
this boner is exhausting
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
