im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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