Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
