no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
