i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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