you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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