it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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