I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I am available for nakedness
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
