why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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