I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
True but thats because hes a fetus.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
